Category Archives: Regular

My Thoughts on Ferguson

In the wake of such a controversial and divisive event, so many people are sharing their opinions and debating one another on the rights and wrongs. In such an age, it is so easy to forget that when we respond to someone else’s comments, there is a person on the other end, not just bits of code. As such, we are all in danger of demeaning and debasing each other based on our belief systems, which is not helpful to a healthy debate or conversation.

To that end, I want to share my own strongly held belief and perspective that we would all do well to remember.

We are all a part of the human experience, and each one of us currently occupying space and consuming the precious molecules of oxygen we rely on has, at some point or another, had some of the most painful, disgusting, anus-searing diarrhea imaginable. None of us is exempt from this. Kim Kardashian, the President, the Pope, Brad Pitt, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Kanye West, the Dalai Lama, Neil Degrasse Tyson and so on have all had the kind of bathroom visit where we just sit down, relax our rectums, and allow fluid to just pour from the wrong end of us.

So please, let’s stop treating each other like it’s never happened to us or literally everyone we’ve ever met or loved, and let’s stop treating people like it’s never happened to them, either.

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Deconstruction of Lunch

Sharing a meal with a toddler will cause you to experience existential crisis.  You will ask yourself such deep questions as “At what point is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich no longer a sandwich?  Is this a deconstruction of our preconceived notions of ‘peanut butter and jelly sandwich’?  Or is this my child experimenting with molecular gastronomy?”

a huddled mass of peanutbutterjellybread
a huddled mass of peanutbutterjellybread, $35

Another question might be: “What does this child eating a banana remind me of?

Finally, you might ask, “How the hell are you supposed to eat with your eyes shut?”

"I'll take my chances.  What could possibly go wrong?"
“I’ll take my chances. What could go wrong?”